i'm sick of tblog...you can only do cool things with it if you pay 20 bucks a year.  so i'm going to be switching to blogger soon...back to where i started off. :)

i just have to do templates and stuff.

i will have an effin awesome blog soon enough :)

yes, i'm being hypocritical.  yes, i realize what i'm doing with my life.  no, i don't need you, or anyone else for that matter,  to tell me about it and try to fix me.  no, i'm not an addict.  yes, i try things, but that doesnt mean i continue to do them.

this weekend was awesome, once again.  weekends always are.  weeks are too.  life is just grand, and i love it.

This is my song for LIZ, Scottie, Callie and Soph :)

I'm passed out on the overpass Sunday best and broken glass Broken down from the bikes and bars Suspended like spirits over speeding cars You and me were kings over the parkway tonight And tonight will go on forever while we Walk around this town like we own the streets And stay awake through summer like we own the heat We're singing Everybody wake up It's time to get down. And when I pass the bottle back to Pete on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh I'm gonna stay eighteen forever So we can stay like this forever And we'll never miss a party 'Cause we keep them going constantly And we'll never have to listen To anyone about anything 'Cause it's all been done and it's all been said We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get The hell out of this town And find some conversation The low fuel lights been on for days It doesn't mean anyhting I've got another 500 'nother 500 miles Before we shut this engine down We shut it down We shut you down I'm gonna stay eighteen forever So we can stay like this forever And we'll never miss a party 'Cause we keep them going constantly And we'll never have to listen To anyone about anything 'Cause it's all been done and it's all been said We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get Just jealous cause we're young and in love :) Oh I love you guys :):)

last night was...interesting.

it was up and down a few times, but for the most part up.  some people are stupid and aren't aloud to come back to my house.

i felt like a little kid yesterday...bc scottie and i hung out from the minute school was out until she had to go home.  we ran errands, went vintage shopping (and i got a really cool sweater and a d.a.r.e. shirt :) )  we ate at quizno's with soph. then people came over and we hung out and dyed each others hair (even though you can't really tell on any of us)

so much happened last night...i can't really organize my thoughts.  i'm too tired. haha

tonight, liz, soph and scottie are coming over and i'm cooking dinner.  i think we're just gonna chill and be girly.  maybe we'll go out...who knows.

i <3 my friends.

oh and here's to valerie: next time you come into town i want you to hang out with us!  it's been a long time, kid! :)

I got this from Laura's LJ...I really like it.

TWO YEARS AGO, I...
1. was dating jake...weird
2. my best friend was brooke
3. couldn't drive
ONE YEAR AGO, I...
1. was days away from losing my grandmother
2. was terrified of graduating
3. was becoming someone completely different than who i used to be
YESTERDAY, I...
1. tried something bad  <3
2. looked really effin hot
3. hung out with a few of my favorite people <3
TODAY, I...
1. woke up late and got to work late
2. have a headache from last night
3. have to do my english project
THREE ITEMS I HAVE BRAND-LOYALTY TO ARE...
1. victoria's secret bras
2. dove face wash
3. TetraMin fish food
THREE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO ARE...
1. forgot about dre <3
2. i'm not okay by my chemical romance
3. almost every song by better than ezra <3333
TOP THREE LOCATIONS I'D LIKE TO RUN AWAY TO ARE...
1. heaven...so i can see her <3
2. galveston
3. new york

hey kids!  i'm in communication graphics.  i don't feel like working today.  hence the blogness...

my internet isnt working at home...i've missed the internet.

it's been a good week.  i've been sick, but not dying.

last night liz, soph, callie and sybs came over to watch the oc.  i made dinner and dyed liz's hair.  tonight we're having a hair dying party :)  soph and i and possibly scottie are all going to experiment with hair colors...oh the anticipation :)

i'm glad this week is over.  this weekend will be awesome.  i'm looking forward to the festivities :)

thanksgiving is next week...eh, not looking forward to it.

one year anniversary is next friday.  that day is gonna suck.

but i'm still excited for today.  life is good...things are happy for the most part.

I'm not mad at ANYONE!

So everyone: stop talking about me and who I'm mad at and what I've supposedly said.  I've cleared things up with everyone and there is nothing left to talk about.

ok, bye.

soooo....much <3 for eric.  because of him, i got to go to coheed on saturday and it was effin awesome!!

it was a great weekend.

i have rediscovered my love for playing with barbies.  scottie, liz and i like to play with them :)

last night i went out with the monicuss.  it was great fun.  we went to dinner and caught up.  woot :)

today, however, i feel really sheisty.  i'm very much sick.  blah.

last night we went to the carnival.  i almost vomitted.  i rode so many rides...multiple times.  it was awesome.  liz, sophie and i were seriously sick, but it was effin awesome.

eric went with us...i like that kid.  he's my newest friend...well he and sophie.  i heart them! tehe.

i'm supposed to hang out with scottie, liz, sophie and dew tonight.  we're partying.  i'm excited!

the weekends rock.  i love life right now.  its real hard sometimes, but i love the direction i'm headed and who i spend my time with.

oh and i love monica even though she's busy all the time <333

i've gotten into this habit of going out and having people over really late on school nights.  i like it.  it makes the week much easier to get through.

i heart my friends.  especially scottie, liz and logan pants!  i've spent so many nights with them this week.  woot.  we dance and sing and drive and eat and watch tv and scream and just be crazy.  so much fun.

its a nice change of pace.

i've discovered that i'm just not dependent on anyone anymore...and i love it.  for so many years i depended on other people for my happiness.  all through junior high it was erin and celisse, then andrew, then preston, then jake, then brooke...but now, i only depend on myself to be happy.  its a wonderful feeling.  i have so many friends that love me and i love to be with...but i dont depend on them to be happy with life.  but they still make it so awesome!

i decided that instead of getting the chinese symbol of love as a tattoo (which i've wanted since 7th grade) i'm going to get the chinese symbol for grandmother...and when people ask what it means i will say "its my word for love"  liz helped me think that one up.  i like it.  i think its a nice little dedication to my grandma's permanent love.

i'm a giddy little school girl and i like it! :)

today was a FABULOUS day.  there should be more like it...oh and i think there will be ;)

i'm going out to eat with mommy and daddy tonight.  that makes the day even better!  i <3 them!

the sky is beautiful.  i want to fly in it and jump from cloud to cloud.

nothing can bring me down from the high i'm on right now :) :)  (and its totally not drug enduced)

yeah i really shouldn't like this guy at all...but i think i do.  scandal!

i went and saw mrs schultz today!  i randomly saw kathy and julie after school today and they asked if i wanted to go to allen with them and see her.  so we did and she was surprised and it was good.  i heart ruthie! i miss her.  allen was such a culture shock...its rul weird there.  hehe

mom and dad are in conroe for the night...woot!  maybe i should do something scandalous ;)  perhaps it should pertain to that kid up there^^ oh what a bitch i am.  tehe.

ok so last night wasnt the WORST of my life.  it actually started out really well.  i had tons of fun until about 3 am.  i love my friends and we had good times.  some of them just made some bad choices last night...and i had to clean up after it.

yeah so last night...definitely not the way we had planned it.  i had lots of fun until most of the people there decided to go to a party and get drunk...hillary, logan and i stayed behind because we didnt really want to.  we had a good time together...but then the drunk people came back and i had to take care of them.  then i realized i have to work today from 10 to 1:30.  i got 4 hours of sleep last night...

alcohol is definitely not my friend.  thank god i made good choices last night and was the responsible one.  who knows what would have happened if hillary and i hadn't been sober.  lots of my friends could be unaccounted for today, that's for sure.

wow....bad choices, kids.

my love of now: I'm a fake by The Used.  it's so angry and it makes me so happy.  it's effin amazing!

tonight, as i laid on caitlin's bed, listening to preston play his guitar...i couldn't help it.  the tears had to come.

at the end of october, when i flipped my schedule to november to see what days i needed off of work...that date was staring me in the face.  it's been on my mind ever since.

has it really been a year?  god i remember it so clearly.

i was talking to justin about it yesterday and he said, "ya know i always thought that a year would be the time that you mourn it, get over it, stop thinking about it, and then the anniversary rolls around and you remember it and move on, but i haven't stopped thinking about her.  i think about her all the time."

its true.  things didnt go the way i thought they would over a year.  to tell you the truth, i didn't think i'd make it this far.  when it happened...i couldn't imagine the end of the day, the week, the month, there was no way i would make it a year.

things were so much better...but its like i'm going through the mourning process all over again.  i get these waves of sadness during school, and i can't explain them.  the past week has been nothing but tears.

i'm scared of what the next month or two will bring.  thanksgiving will be so hard.  the anniversary...it will be hell.  i'm afraid of how i'm going to act for a while.  i dont want to revert back to the place where i was one year ago.  i'm scared of what's to come...

i started unpacking again today...trying to make a dent in this wall of boxes in my room.  i got a few done.  i unpacked my fragile stuff...all the stuff that reminds me of momo.  it was weird...like i thought that if i just kept the boxes packed then this wouldnt be permanent.  its just a transition stage...no biggie.  my room is starting to look pretty, and i'm liking it.  it will be clean and box free soon enough.

today i was driving around running some errands and there were people standing on street corners holding "Bush/Cheney" signs and screaming and jumping around.  It made me laugh...I honked at them, they yelled back at me and jumped some more.  It was cool. :)

I pissed my dad off today because he tried to talk politics with me and I cut him off.  I hate listening to him talk politics because he just gets angry and bashes everything NOT totally right wing...and that makes ME mad.  So I cut him off and he walked out of the room.  I felt bad, but maybe he'll learn something.  My mom understood...

This week started out bad...but I decided to make it better.  So far it's kinda working.  Yay for changing perspective...

what the hell is happening?

i can fix it

damnit...fix it

i need something...what is it?

stop making me do this!  i dont want to anymore!  just stop making me feel this way...please.  you can stop it...

i'm losing it.

the streaks of happiness are only temporary...

rainbows only shine in the sky for so long.  then the rain comes again.

i need it to just pour.  i need to cry.  i need to let this out.  i need to have myself a little thunderstorm in my room and rid myself of all this.  i need to be alone...i dont want to be alone.

this morning i woke up to pouring rain...it was beautiful.

english test raped me...oh well.  i knew it would.

"i'm sitting under falling stars.  do you miss me where you are?  i'm making plans to be with you.  but have they come unglued?  what am i to do without you?"

monica is coming over for dinner tonight.  daddy's making my favorite meal.  then moni and i are going to young life!  i haven't been the past two weeks and that's sad...so i'm excited to go.  and even more excited to go with monica.  i miss that kid.

liz, hillary and dew are all auditioning for suessical today.  good luck to them!  they'll all make it because they rock.

i want to kiss someone...but with passion, not just hormones.
i want to LIKE someone.  but at the same time, that's really scary and i dont really wanna go there.

"we write to patch things up. maybe not to agree, but to proclaim love"