last night was a freakin awesome night

courtney and i went shopping for my costume stuff.  we had fun in card and party factory.  we got tinkerbell tattoos and they're pretty.  she introduced me to quiznos..my new love.

callie came and hung out with us at about 10 or so.  we went to sonic, sweets for five seconds, both walmarts...i think thats it.  we were on a mission for ballet shoes.  we didnt find good ones.  but we had fun trying...oh and we almost got kicked out of super walmart.  it was awesome.

after callie and courtney went home liz, dustin and kevin came over.  we had lots of fun.

we got shipleys this morning.  that was awesome too.

now i'm at work...working on my halloween costume.  last night was so busy, i didn't get a chance to work on my costume.  so i'm doing it now...it has to be done by like 6 tonight.  ah well.  i can do it.  hopefully the paint will dry...

this week has been really good...i don't know why.  perhaps it's my perspective.

*the play was freakin awesome.  i laughed my butt off.
*the monica shirts went well.  monica loved them.  i loved making her happy.  all is well :)
*we went to the wicked woods last night and caitlin cut the circulation to my fingers off..they were kinda purple by the time we got out of there, but it was really, really fun.
*scottie's work schedule angers me...but i'm glad she's working.  woot for scoot :)
*i heart lots today...it's happy.
*preston is going to erin's party with me saturday.  i'm excited.  i'm going to be pretty pretty princess, and it will be awesome!
*i've decided to change things.  you'll be proud when it happens, i'm sure :)

Today was the 11 month anniversary of my Grandma's death.  Amazingly, I wasn't sad about it.  I got that over with last week...

I talked to her when I woke up.  It felt good.  I hadn't done that in a while. 

I got to English and we started studying metaphysical poetry...which is all about life, death, after life, separation.  We sat in groups and each group had to analyze one of the poems.  My group got Psalm 23.  How perfect, eh?  It was strangely comforting.  I'd been thinking about death all morning and I get to English and "an alyze" a Psalm that I've read so many other times for comfort through my Grandma's death.  God had a hand in that one.  It was awesome.  

A quote from one of the poems I liked:
"When one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language."

Today was a good day.  My grandma was with me.  I could feel her. 

~~~~

On another good note, Mom and Dad are finally home from Canada.  I realized just how much I've missed them last night.  I was sitting at home on the phone with my mom and all I wanted was to see her and give her a hug.  I was actually crying when I hung up the phone.  Dad says that they're going to be home much more than they have been.  He said they thought a lot about me while they were away and that we'd talk about it when they get home.  But basically...they really miss me and want to spend more time with me.  That's fine with me.  I miss my parents.  I can't wait to get off work so I can see them.  I even cancelled plans with Hillary to spend the evening with them.  Crazy, eh?

Random Thought:  I laugh at myself because I've become one of those weird people who live alone with just cats...I sing to them and talk to them all the time.  I'm such a lonely, old lady and its sad...but funny. :)

I decided I love you...

*Mom and Dad are on their way back from Canada right now.  Not sure if they'll end up coming home tonight or staying in Montgomery.  We'll see.  I miss them.  And they're bringing me presents :)

*This weekend was freakin awesome.  Totally made up for the shistey week.  The game was good.  After the game was good.  Ren Fest was good.  Scottie's Surprise Party was awesome and very sexual ;)  Good times, Good times.

*This week is going to be good...I decided.

*11 months tomorrow...weird.

*For Halloween I'm going to be "Pretty Pretty Princess" :)  I'm going to make a shirt that says that and wear ballet shoes, a tiara, fake jewelry and carry a wand :)  I'm excited.

*By the way...No Halloween Party.  Daddy decided.  Oh well...it's gonna be a freakin awesome Halloween anyway.

*I'm supposed to go to Erin Bernheim's Halloween Party on Saturday.  Come with me!  It'll be lots of fun!

*Hopefully my stupid computer will be fixed soon.  I'm mad at it.  I miss having internet at home.  Oh well...I'll survive.

*When did 12 year olds start giving hand jobs?  They're too young...that's gross.

*I got henna at Ren Fest. It's cool.  It's a lizard.  Liz says it's her. But I say it's my mommy because her name is Liz and her friends used to call her Lizzy Lizard.  So my henna is for my mommy.  Oh, won't she be so excited!  Except she'll hate it...hehe.

*I think I'm done now.

Oh!  Do this!

Please tell me...
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.

Remember to make the comment anonymous.

I liked it.

Regret is a pointless emotion.  I've discovered that all regret does for a person is make her feel worse about the matter at hand.  There is no reason to regret anything in life.  You can feel guilty.  You can be sorry.  But don't regret what you've done.  The past cannot be changed.  You may wish you could take back something you've done, but it's over.  The thing to do is learn from it.  Take the lesson you've learned and apply it to the rest of your life.  Make sure not to make a mistake like that again. That's why we make mistakes--to learn from them.  Not to regret them, wallow in self pity, hate ourselves.  Grow from the mistakes you've made.

I don't think I'm very good at applying this philosophy to my own life.  I believe it whole-heartedly, but it's a hard thing to actually do.  I always fret over things that I've done once I've done them.  I spend too much time worrying about the mistakes I've made.  In the long run though, I regret nothing.  Let's see if I can improve on this--and not fret over the small things.

**Dear you, I miss you still, but not to the point that it hurts to think about you.  You'd be proud if you knew what's going on.  I'm growing up.  I wish you were around to see it.  Or at least to help me along.  I love you more than ever.  Be there at graduation, k?  And in New York.  I know you loved New York, so come with me.  Watch Broadway with me and walk with me through central park.  I think about you every day.  Thanks for everything.  You made a huge impact on my life...I'll love you for eternity.
--With all the love in the world, your little ams.

*Today I feel: Thankful
*My mommy made me soup bc I'm sick.  I'm glad they're home.  I like for them to be home when I'm sick.
*They leave for Canada on Thursday.  I'm jealous.  Lucky Mommy.
*My parents are so cute.  I hope I'm like them when I grow up.  I'm already my mom :)
*I didn't get to go to Montgomery yesterday to see them because I was sick.  I spent the whole day in bed watching movies on TBS.  Around 8-ish I got cabin fever and wanted so badly to get out of the house.  I cleaned instead.
*I worked things out with a certain friend.  Lots of screaming and crying was involved...but it turned out okay in the end.
*Friday was a bust: everyone was moody.  Parts of it were really fun, but for the most part everyone was just being cranky.
*Saturday was good.  I hung out with Liz, then Andrew, then Preston.  It was lots of fun.  I <3 those kids.
*Ya know whats happy?  I don't miss him at ALL.  I thought I would...just a little bit.  But no.  Not at all.  I love it.
*I LOVE LAUREN! :)  She's awesome, and I really need to hang out with her more.  It's been freakin forever since we hung out...since she dyed my hair.  ca-razy
*My computer at home is really messed up again.  It won't even run McAfee of SpyBot so I can figure out what's wrong...We just got it fixed and it's messed up again.  Stupid computer.  Hopefully Daddy will admit that I need a new one and buy one for me.
*My mom just sent me a text saying "Ur mommy luvs you!!"  She's so weird...but cute.  I love her :)

I've bolded the ones I've done and italicized the ones i WANT to do.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (on the beach)
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse (lunar)
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie (homemade)
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them (and you) dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo (drawn tattoos for people)
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought (or found) and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142a. Held someone while they were having a flashback
142b. Had a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name (immigration semantics)
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

the weekend was great.  i left for san marcos yesterday after work.  got there about 7:30.  shaini and justin had a party at shaini's.  shaini, justin, paul (shaini's roommate) and i all put on fake tattoos for the extravaganza.  they're awesome.  mine has butterflies, flowers and a heart.  its so cliche and stupid.  i love it :)

the party was lots of fun.  i didnt know many people there bc they were all shaini's friends...but i mingled, nonetheless.  i finally crashed around 3.  i heard everyone else started leaving about 5 or so.  i think i missed out on the best of the party.  oh well...i had a good time.

today we woke up around 2-ish, took showers, went to the grocery store, made this awesome ramen caserole that justin invented, i made banana pudding.  we ate, hung around, and i left around 6-ish.

now i'm home...woot.  don't wanna go to school tomorrow.  i'm not doing my essay.  i'll use my extend a buck.  i hate essays.  i'd much rather take a test.

I'm sorry I couldn't help myself!

What is your favorite

gum: dentyne fire
restaurant: cafe capri
drink: mmm...for today: pumpkin spice frapuccino
season: winter...i love the cold, and the clothes that go with it!
type of weather: rain/lightning/thunder storms
emotion: love
thing to do on a half day: anything productive...it makes me feel like i've done something
late-night activity: ahem...making out is good
sport: football
city: galveston
store: old navy, new york and co.

When was the last time you

cried: got teary--probably yesterday or the day before; REALLY cried--a couple weeks ago
played a sport: i play football with my friends, hehe
laughed: a few minutes ago
hugged someone: today
kissed someone: ummm...3 weeks ago?  maybe 4...i don't remember how long ago it was.
felt depressed: ummm...early in the summer :)
felt elated: today
felt overworked: last weekend
faked sick: i fake sick all the time for school
lied: hmmm i dunno...not recently

What was the last

word you said: ok bye!
thing you ate: a cupcake in english!
song you listened to: the quiet things that no one ever knows...i heart
thing you drank: hawaiian punch
place you went to: work
movie you saw: life or something like it
movie you rented: ummm....i have no idea
concert you attended: haven't been to a show in freakin forever


Who was the last person you..

hugged: lizzymart
cried over: hmmm...most likely my grandma
kissed: i dont think i'll put that on here... tehehe
danced with: ummm...i think the last person i danced with at prom was killian...or ben.  either one.  of course i dance by myself all the time...but that doesn't count
shared a secret with: ummmm...i dont really have many "secrets" much anymore.  i guess though if i had anything that only one person knew it would be the monicuss
had a sleepover with: monicuss
called: my dad
went to a movie with: oh man...what was it?  oh!  hillary!  napoleon...got it.
saw: desi
were angry with: andrew
couldn't take your eyes off of: ha..umm...no comment
obsessed over: i haven't obsessed over someone since...i guess sophomore year when i first started liking jake


Have you ever

danced in the rain: ahyuh...all the time
kissed someone: si si
done drugs: yeah
drank alcohol: yeah
partied 'til the sun came up: ah yuh
had a movie marathon: yes
gone too far on a dare: nope
spun until you were immensely dizzy: haha yeah
taken a survey quite like this before: yup

i get my computer back today!!!  oh i'm so excited!  my dad's secretary is bringing it by work and then i get to take it home and hook it all up and USE IT!  Oh how i've missed my beloved :)

daddy bought me fish yesterday!!!!  we got three guppies to start...and a castle, plants, and other pretty thingies! :)  i love my beautiful fishies.  so pohpfalaceouzs now has friends!  they're names are gumby, rockafellar (yes, i used it again bc i love the name) and napoleon.  i love them!  we're friends. :)

and mommy bought me things for my living room yesterday!  we bought slip covers, throw pillows, ect. and looked for ideas on other stuff to decorate with.  my house is going to be beautimous!  we've got it all planned out.  come see when i'm done!

yesterday was just a great day...after school my mom called and told me to come to el chico to eat with her and daddy.  that was fun.  i heart my parents. :)  after that dad went home and the mommyness and i went shopping at target for all that house stuff and then we went to the mall bc she needed ONE shirt but ended up getting like five...there's no question where i got my love for buying things from.  i blame the mom. :)

i spent the rest of the evening at home with the padres watching tv and stuff.  i made my daddy laugh lots, and thats semi-hard to do so it made me feel good.  i love my parents so much!

I'm going to San Marcos in TWO DAYS!  Oh the excitement!  I miss my brother and I'm so excited to go see him!  I decided I HAVE to go see him at least once every couple of months.  This going eight months before going back thing is ridiculoso...its only two hours away.

I'm just really really happy today.

This morning I woke up an hour early, took an extra long shower, left the house early, went by the bank, starbucks, shipleys, ran errands, ect.  It was nice.  I got to school and had already been around town and it was nice to get stuff accomplished so early in the day.  It made the rest of the day so much better!  The pumpkin spice frappucinno helped also...mmmm tasty.  pumpkin pie in a cup is my new best friend!

okay i think ive typed a lot and i'll stop.  this is what happens when i get excited!  i love youuuu!!!!! <333333333

*my secret lover for the week:  his name is blake.  he's 20-something.  he came into work today to complaing that we overcharged him for something.  but i don't care...he was beautiful.  so beautiful that i stuttered while talking to him.  oh!  and he drove a motorcycle.  he's mine...secretly.

*my band obsession as of today: keane.  i like them...they're different than what i have been listening to lately. they're slow, and NOT emo, and NOT angry.  i like it.  i like it so much that i might actually BUY the cd...what's happening?

today was just "one of those days" as brooke's sticker put so nicely.  she let me have it bc i was having a bad day and she wasn't.

i don't want to hear about it.  i don't want to know.  i don't care!  stop telling me.

liz, scottie and courtney were all gone today.  strange.

tonight should be better than today.  my brother and his fam are coming over for dinner, then i have young life.  that's happy.

i want it to pour tonight.  i want to stand in the parking lot at the exit and just let the rain fall all over me.  i want it to storm all night and all of tomorrow.  rain is cleansing to me.  it puts me in the best mood and takes away all of the things that worry me.  i need that right now.  i need the rain.

i dont want to love you anymore.  make it easy to let go.  please.

*yesterday was a good day :)

*worked 9-3.
*got paid lots
*went SHOPPING with hillybug :)
*went to the game with my preston and caitlini.  i <3 them.
*watched a movie with them after the game...almost fell asleep, but still fun.

*my boss has informed me that she has been thinking about having me be sort of a nanny for her kids once i graduate.  she says she could really use the help and it would be great for her kids to have more of a routine than have to deal with her insane schedule.  so i would be babysitting monday, wednesday, friday and working at stop n store tuesday and thursday...and she pays well...and i'm going to need the money bc i'll be paying for rent and stuff.  i'm excited about it.  we're going to talk more about it as graduation approaches and i figure out what kind of money i'll be needing to make.  i LOVE my boss and her family!

*i've worked tons this weekend.  thursday after school, all day friday, today, i'm babysitting my boss's kids today and my brother's kids tomorrow...i'm giong to make so much money this weekend and then i can buy things!  and put some in savings...bc i haven't done that in a while and i really need to.

*i think that's all for now...i feel like making a budget and doing some online research for things.  what's wrong with me?

last night was really great.  i went to caitlin's to work on an english thing with mary, brooke, dj, ricardo, colleen and nadia.  strangest group of people ever...but it was so much fun.  we had a great time.  i made queso.  we ordered gumby's.  i got leftovers :)  it was a good time.

brooke and i made up.  we ended up outside talking for about an hour i think.  we would have sat there longer but her mom called.  it was really good to get everything out in the open.  we talked about boys, church, our problems, why we needed to be apart from each other for so long...it was really great.  brooke and i have always had a connection.  even when we "hated" each other it was there.  she's definitely someone who has made a huge impact on my life and i'm thankful for her.

after everyone left, caitlin and i decided to go sit outside and look at the moon.  i saw the man in the moon for the first time ever last night...i'd never been able to see it before.  we talked about a lot of things.  i finally left at 2.

last night was filled with good conversation and good fun.  it was a nice change of pace being with different people (except caitlin of course because she's not someone new.) :)  i'm happy. and i like this.